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The Real Truth about me, this account, all of it.
I'm not dead.
With that out of the way, I have an... Announcement? Admission? Hm. A thing to say, I have a thing to say.
"Oh, you show up out of the blue for the first time in forever and you have something to say? Shocker!" Yeah, I know. And I'm probably not going to be back that often (pretty sure most of my followers and watchers have left DA by now though, ha), even after saying the thing. But I think I need to say it, to come clean, in case I don't come back, or in case I do.
So um... I am transgender. And no, I'm not a trans man or nonbinary. I'm a trans woman; I'm still Christina, although the family name I've used on here isn't my
Nine.
Nine years.
Nine years I've been here, or at least it will be soon.
Nine years.
Nine years I've tried drawing. Nine years I've tried to deal with this, all of this.
Someone else who started around the same time just released their first comic.
Someone else works at Cartoon Network.
Someone else is a teacher of art.
And I...
It's not fun anymore but it's all I want. I hate it but I need it. I want to move on but I can never move on. It haunts my dreams, it permeates my hopes, it lurks in my very soul.
The things I need I cannot have. Not for any reason besides me. I am the only thing standing in my own way.
And I hate myself for it.
Hey Everyone.
Sorry for the radio silence. It has been a hectic time around here. I graduated and found a job, but the pay isn't supporting me and my family is cutting me off, so I'm on the hunt. I finally found a therapist. Turns out I have depression and bipolar II. So that's fun.
I haven't posted any artwork, and there's a good reason. I've come to realize that art... Art isn't fun anymore. Not for me. It caused me a lot of pain over time, and now I'm kind of tired. So I've quit for the time being. Someday I hope I'll come back around, but for now, it's time to stop. And that is OK.
I know I'm not breaking any hearts by stopping my art. It was never g
Devious Journal Entry
It was never really worth it, was it?
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Fantastic to hear from you. Hi!